Talking to Kids about Medical Emergencies

You and your child may have witnessed or heard about the recent Bills vs. Bengals football game where Damar Hamlin collapsed on the field and went into cardiac arrest. Witnessing a medical emergency, in person or on television, can bring up a lot of feelings for you and your children. You may be wondering how to support your child in this time and you may have your own concerns about your child if they participate in sports or have had a previous injury. 

Let the Child Lead

First thing’s first, you will want to know what your child knows, saw, or heard. Even if you were sitting with your child as it happened, they may have a different experience or understanding of what happened. If they did not see it, they may have heard things at school or read about it on the internet. Depending on the child’s age, they will have a different capacity to understand what they saw or heard. You can ask your child things like “Tell me about what you saw,” or “What have you heard about what happened?” to help you understand your child’s experience. 

Once you know what your child knows, you can inform them of the facts and encourage them to ask any questions they have (hot tip: it’s okay if you don’t have the answer!) For example, you can respond with: “I’m not sure, that’s a great question. Let’s look it up together.” Depending on their concern, it may be best to seek an answer from a medical professional, a sports team coach, or you may be able to simply google it. When you do know the answer to their question, it is helpful to keep it short, simple, and honest. Try to only answer the question they asked. You may notice your child asks the same question again or that may prompt them to ask a new question – this is your child processing their experience. 

It is important not to assume what your child knows or how they feel. By letting them lead, you will be able to understand their perspective and respond to their concerns instead of your own. 

Validate Your Child’s Feelings

Now that you have created space for an open conversation, you will start to notice how they are feeling, possibly worry or fear. These feelings may be about Damar Hamlin, someone they know who plays a contact sport, or for themselves. Your child may not have the language to describe how they are feeling, or they may not have made the connection. When we give language to feelings, we connect the left and right sides of our brain. You can reflect their feelings by saying, “I can hear that you’re worried about Damar Hamlin,” or “It sounds like you’re worried about your friends who play football,” or “You’re scared something like that could happen to you.”  

Being with your child (setting electronics aside, making eye contact, getting on their level), and truly listening to their concerns can make a world of difference. When your child feels heard and valued, they are able to release some of the emotion and feel less alone. You likely have your own feelings of concern around the situation, and it is important to seek support in your support system as well. You can share with your child that you may be feeling scared or worried too.  

In order to support your child in processing these feelings, you can invite them to do an activity such as drawing, painting, writing a letter or poem. What are some things you do to cope with feelings of worry or fear? You can share these coping skills with your child and model for them how to do it.  

Instill Hope

Lastly, you can instill hope for your child and yourself too. You can empower your child in a variety of ways such as knowing factual information, getting certified, practicing safety, and getting involved. 

• Know the Facts  

  It is helpful to know the facts of a medical emergency such a the symptoms, risk factors, and what to do. The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Insitute has a quick fact sheet on cardiac arrest here: https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/cardiac-arrest.  

• Get Certified 

  The American Heart Association does not have a minimum age requirement to learn CPR, so if you feel it is appropriate and your child is interested, you can go together to learn what you can do. You can access more information on ways to get certified here:

• Practice Safety 

  If your child is involved in sports, you can encourage your child to follow the rules of the sport they play. You can talk to your child’s coach about the safety precautions in place and encourage your child to follow them. It can be helpful to remember that teammates and the opposing team are people just like you, so we can look out for each other as we engage in the sport. You can also talk to your doctor about risk factors for your child playing sports and possibly look into a youth heart screening. 

• Get Involved 

  If you or your child would like to do more, you can look at ways to support your community. In North Texas, you can support a local non-profit called Living for Zachary. This non-profit provides youth heart screenings, donates Automated External Defibrillators (AEDs), provides CPR courses, provides scholarships, and hosts awareness events in the community. You can learn more about this non-profit here:  

If you notice your child is in a state of stress, you can read more about coping with stress here:

Remember, Mommies in Need is here to support you and your children through medical crises, including witnessing a medical emergency. If you’d like further support or have specific questions about your family, please reach out to our play therapy department at 214-266-8065 or kchristian@mommiesinneed.org.